Hero
Finding Strength in the Chaos of Life
Heroes, villains, and victims—life often pushes us through all these roles. As Mavericks, we aim for balance, but it’s normal to shift between them. The true hero isn’t flawless but strives to find strength and compassion despite life’s chaos.
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As I continue on this journey of Becoming Maverick, I've learned an important truth: the world expects us to be heroes. Whether it's our families, friends, clients, colleagues, neighbors, or even society at large, there is this unspoken expectation for us to step up and embody everything a hero stands for. We’re supposed to be brave, confident, compassionate, and caring all at once. But where does this ideal come from? More often than not, it comes from a Hollywood version of a hero: someone who is indestructible, invincible, and never falters.
However, real life isn’t like that. Real heroes are much more complicated.
In my personal struggles, I’ve come to understand that no one is permanently a hero, a victim, or a villain. In fact, these three roles exist on a kind of spectrum—heroes in the center, with victims on one side and villains on the other. Life events can push us from being a hero to a victim, or even a villain, in the blink of an eye. And yet, we can always make our way back to the middle, striving to find balance again.
In a way, being a hero is like achieving homeostasis—a perfect balance between the extremes of victimhood and villainy. When we’re in the center, we embody the characteristics we strive for as mavericks: strength, resilience, empathy, and integrity. But life happens. There are times when circumstances throw us into chaos, and before we know it, we find ourselves consumed by feelings of powerlessness or anger, either slipping into the mindset of a victim or becoming the very thing we loathe: a villain.
As mavericks, it’s crucial to recognize that this fluctuation is part of the human experience. Feeling out of balance is not a sign of failure; it’s a sign that we’re alive. We experience moments of rage, resentment, or despair, just as we experience moments of strength and clarity. The important thing is that we recognize these moments for what they are, and we take responsibility to course-correct.
Understanding the Hero, the Victim, and the Villain:
1. The Hero:
Heroes, in the purest sense, are those who embody bravery, compassion, and resilience. They are often expected to be leaders, problem-solvers, and protectors. However, being a hero doesn’t mean being invincible. In reality, heroes experience fear, vulnerability, and doubt just like anyone else. What makes them heroes isn’t that they are perfect—it’s that they continue to push forward, balancing their empathy and strength, even in the face of adversity.
Positives: Courageous, resilient, compassionate, empathetic, confident. Negatives: Overburdened, prone to self-sacrifice, sometimes emotionally detached or repressed.
2. The Victim:
At some point, we all experience pain, loss, and feelings of helplessness. When we’re in the victim role, we might feel powerless or believe that circumstances are outside our control. While it’s normal to feel victimized at times, staying in that mindset can lead to dependency and hopelessness. However, there’s also a kind of strength in vulnerability. Recognizing your pain and finding the courage to seek support is the first step toward recovery and balance.
Positives: Resilient, empathetic, vulnerable, capable of growth. Negatives: Helpless, dependent, powerless, trapped in fear or sadness.
3. The Villain:
The villain archetype is the opposite of the victim, often fueled by anger, revenge, or the desire for control. Villains typically lack empathy and justify their harmful actions by convincing themselves they are right. Yet, there’s something tragic about villainy. At its core, villainy often stems from deep pain, betrayal, or insecurity. Even villains, in their own twisted way, believe they’re doing what’s necessary. But left unchecked, this mindset can lead to destruction—of self and others.
Positives: Ambitious, determined, resourceful, strong. Negatives: Ruthless, manipulative, destructive, self-centered.
The Hero Spectrum:
Imagine a line with the hero at the center, the victim on one side, and the villain on the other. At any given time, life can push us to one end of the spectrum or the other. Maybe something terrible happens that makes us feel like a victim, or perhaps anger pushes us to act more like a villain. But just like in nature, balance is key.
As mavericks, our goal is to keep finding our way back to the center. That’s what being a hero really is: not perfection, but balance. It’s the ability to maintain our core values—empathy, strength, and integrity—even as we face the inevitable ups and downs of life.
We don’t have to be flawless, and we certainly don’t have to pretend to be indestructible. It’s okay to have moments of weakness or anger. The important thing is that we remain self-aware enough to take ownership of our actions and work toward balance.
Reclaiming Balance:
It’s okay to feel out of balance. In fact, it’s normal. Life is unpredictable, and sometimes we will falter. But as mavericks, we have an important role to play in the lives of the people around us. They look to us for strength, leadership, and support. That means we have to value ourselves enough to do the inner work of becoming physically, mentally, and emotionally healthy.
So, when you feel like you’re slipping toward victimhood or villainy, take a step back. Recognize where you are on the spectrum and make a conscious effort to find your way back to the center. That’s where your power lies. That’s where you become the true hero—not just for others, but for yourself.
We are all on this journey together. I invite you to share your hero story in the comments below. Let’s build a community of support and encouragement, where we can lift each other up in times of need.
Shalom!
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